Bad Feelings

I still can't get used to my wedding ring not being there. I took it off the night Ryan told me he wanted a divorce. To me, there was no point in keeping it on. Your wedding ring is supposed to be a symbol of your love and commitment to your spouse, and after that conversation with Ryan I realized he felt neither of those for me. So it's sitting in my jewelry box. I had it on 24/7 for almost three and a half years. Several times every day I find myself moving my fingers around, trying to fiddle with it just out of habit. When I find it's not there, it just makes me sad.

You know what else makes me sad? That I get the feeling that my life serves as a some kind of a sad story now. We went to my sister's in-laws house today and it just felt so awkward. I knew that everyone knew about the divorce but no one mentioned it. It's not that I want to talk about it, but at the same time I felt like maybe there's some secret whispered conversation going on about me behind the scenes. It's probably not true, but still not a good feeling to think your marriage serves as a warning story to others.