Never Again...

So lately I've felt myself becoming a little more bitter again. I am trying not to because I don't want to be that person, but I also can't help wondering to myself why in the heck Ryan married me if he was having doubts about it beforehand? Seriously. I gained like 60 pounds, lost 3+ years of my life, ended up getting a useless degree because I never thought I would actually use it, and racked up about $20k in debts I wouldn't have otherwise had (with the new car and student loans). I just don't know how he thought he was doing me any favors.

I don't think I will ever get married again. My mom is adamant that I will change my mind about that at some point, but I'm not so sure. Really, why bother? Even just a serious relationship...I don't think I will get involved in one of those for quite a while either. I'm learning you should only rely on yourself to create happiness and when you start depending on someone else to do that for you, nothing but trouble comes from it. I guess I'm just cynical about romance right now, and beg all my married friends not to hate me for writing all of this. =)

In other matters, I haven't heard from the psycho texter since my last blog entry. The cheating husband has sent me a couple of texts since then but I've just ignored him. I made another friend named Kyle who I've hung out with in the past week, but we are just friends. So, really no new boy news and I'm kind of hoping to keep it that way!

I still haven't heard back from the job, which is starting to make me a little nervous. But they did say that they were just hoping to have made the decision by the time they leave for holiday break, which means they have until Wednesday of this next week to contact me. *fingers crossed!!* I would really like the job and have already found a nice townhouse in Nampa for pretty cheap that I could rent, so it would work out well. More than anything, I just want to know their choice for sure because then I can put in more effort to looking elsewhere.

This has been a really boring week. I am finally to the point where I am going crazy being cooped up in the house all day, so I'll be really happy to get a job. My sister and her husband and daughter will be here on Wednesday so I am looking forward to having them around. =) It should be a fun holiday and I am really going to try to focus on the positive things in my life because I know there are plenty. Anyway, I hope all of my blog readers have a WONDERFUL Christmas and will post some updates for me to read after!