Mother England

Since I was young I always daydreamed about going on an adventure and moving to Europe. I’m sure that’s not a rare dream, by any means, but what I never really expected was for that dream to become a reality. Now, with my upcoming plans to exchange vows with a pure-bred English gent, I could realistically move there. I could raise kids there, who would call me mum and talk in cute accents. I could take a weekend train up to Scotland and buy all the yummy cheese (for cheap!) that I can handle! It seems like a fantasy, and lately I’ve become more and more enraptured by it. I can’t help imagining what my future would be like if we moved to England. The only real trouble is my family.

They don’t want me to go. Basically everyone has told me that I “can’t”. In fact, it’s almost turned into a kind of game with my mom. Anytime I mention something positive about England, she has to immediately tell me something negative. I’m aware of the negatives, the biggest of which would be leaving my family. However, I’d make it a priority to come and visit hopefully at least once a year. When my kids are older, I’d want to send them to Grandma’s for part of the summer. And we live in the age of Skype! Yes, it’s not as good as face-to-face contact…it can’t be, but it’s better than nothing. The way I see it, either my family or Chris’ is going to be the “away family”. There’s no getting around that. Neither one of them are going to relocate to where the other is. So I want to make the decision based on what is best for both Chris and I, and our future. If that’s England, I hope my family will learn to be as accepting as his has been about him moving here for me.

I’ve had a couple of friends move to the UK for a guy, one to England and one to Scotland. Neither have liked it. One moved back, forcing her husband to return to the US as well and leave his family, after she’d agreed to go there and they’d gone through the whole visa process for her (can you sense my annoyance?). The other is kind of stuck there and isn’t happy about it. I asked the one who moved back here what she didn’t like about Scotland. She told me it was basically just the culture clash. Everything was different, and she didn’t feel welcomed by a couple members of her husband’s family. I’m aware it’s going to be a big culture shock. When I was in England in October and Chris and I went to the grocery store for items to make my lasagne recipe, I was very easily frustrated. They didn’t have the brands I knew, I couldn’t explain to Chris exactly what I needed so he could tell me where it was, and all the measurements were different!! But I know that if I’m prepared for that situation ahead of time, it will hopefully be less of a headache…and I also know that’s something that won’t last forever. Eventually I will get their system down. As for non-welcoming in-laws, I’m not worried about that either. Yes, I’ve only gotten to really be around them for a couple of weeks, but I have no concerns about the family I am inheriting. The way I see it, Chris is my soul mate, which means his family is too.

Mostly I’m not scared about moving to England because I have Chris, plain and simple. I’d follow him anywhere. I know as long as we are together, I can put up with the rest of it. When I get lonely, he’ll be there to comfort me. When I get frustrated with measurements, he’ll be there to figure out conversions. So although we haven’t decided anything yet, and we won’t for another few years, I’m not ruling out moving to England. I just have to hope my family and friends won’t hate me if I do.