Day #5

Topic: "Something in life that gives you balance."

I was thinking about this topic and trying to narrow it down to one thing, when I decided why should I? So here, in no particular order, are the things in my life that give me balance.

#1 - Chris: Chris is honestly my best friend. He calms me down when I go a little crazy, makes me smile when I'm sad, and entertains me when I'm feeling bored. He's the first person I want to share news with or vent my frustrations to. He helps me stay sane!

#2 - Our girls: Yes, my kitties are definitely on this list! Charly and Phoebe have been with me through a lot and I love them to death. There's nothing a good pet and cuddle with them can't cure.

#3 - My friends: I've been lucky to be blessed with some great friends. I love being able to spend time with them and do girly things.

#4 - My family: My mom and sister are counted among my best friends as well. It hasn't always been smooth sailing with my family, but they are both very special to me. I'm happy to live near my mom so we can see each other and talk often, and am so glad that Rikki will be moving here with Taylor in just a matter of months!

I guess that about sums it up for now! I think it's important to have multiple things in your life that can provide balance. We all need that from time to time and I'm lucky to have all the people that are important to me.

Day #4

Topic: "Something that is part of your routine that you enjoy."

I don't really have a lot of set routines to my day. I guess one that does happen every day, and I very much love, is my kitties joining me to get ready in the morning. As soon as I'm out of bed and going into the bathroom, Phoebe is the first to follow. She ALWAYS jumps up on the sink first, wanting a pet and a drink of water from the tap. Usually Charly is next, wanting some attention, and finally Lucy trots in. Lately Lucy has taken to licking the curtain liner after I get out of the shower, which is both funny and gross. They give me a little fun in the morning when I absolutely just want to be in bed.

In other news, I thought I would briefly describe my weekend since it was awesome. :) For anyone who is friends with me on Facebook, this might be old news, but I went out shopping with my mom on Saturday afternoon and got some great buys!! I think it was all thanks to my decision to wear my lucky undies that day. We found a massive clearance sale at Sears. They had so many cute things in my size for only $3.99 each. I also found another dress at JC Penney for $4. All in all, I got 7 shirts and 3 dresses for $42. Nothing like a nice shopping high. :)

That night I also went out with my friend Alex. We met for dinner first and then went back to her apartment to get ready to go dancing downtown. She let me do her hair and makeup, and then we finally headed out around 11pm. The plan was to go to Dirty Little Roddy's because when we went out a couple of weeks ago on a Friday night, that place was much busier and more fun than China Blue, where we normally go. Unfortunately, and strangely, Roddy's wasn't that full and they were playing basically all country, so we had a drink and headed to China. They were packed, and playing some great songs, so we spent the rest of the night there. We were dancing almost the entire time, which had been the point (fun exercise!) but the annoying thing was guys kept hitting on us! Normally I find that pretty flattering but both Alex and I got some clingers. We had to escape to the bathroom at one point, and then we switched locations on the dance floor three times to escape guys. It was very weird. After that I decided that I should start a line of shirts for clubbing that have slogans on the back. Here's some examples: "Don't dance up on me, I'm with my girlfriends." Or perhaps "Don't touch. I'm married." For those looking to hook up, maybe "Open for Business". Hahaha! The weird thing is that any time a guy tried to hit on me or dance with me, I'd hold up my ring finger and say I'm married, but that didn't seem to dissuade them as much as it normally does. After we finally left the club (at 1:45am! geez!) there was a guy walking past us on the street who grabbed my arm and said I was hot. I said "and married" and then he said "I'm married too...to the game!" Wow, what a line. I just told him good luck with his game and kept walking. The really funny thing is all the guys who hit on us were either black or Indian. I think it's the non-white guys who are more into some "junk in the trunk", although Alex just thinks that they are the more aggressive and forward guys. When I used to go dancing with Shannon, it was usually black guys who hit on me then too. Anyway, Chris said he was going to find the guys who hit on me and give them a talking to. :)

Sunday I spent the day with me sweetie! We went to the mall, since he was mad I hadn't bought him anything during my shopping spree the day before. We found him a few shirts, then went to see "Cabin in the Woods". I loved it!! It was very unique and just a lot of fun for horror fans. After that we got some take out and rented The Descendants from Redbox and spent the night in with our girls. I love days with Chris...they are always so much fun. :) So overall, wonderful weekend!

Day #3

Topic: "Something with which you struggle."

This may end up being a controversial entry, because as I'm sitting here pondering this question, what comes to mind is my opinions on religion. I struggle with finding a real "live and let live" mentality for some things. Specifically that's true of certain people (*cough* ex-husbands [both mine and my sister's] *cough*) but in general, it's with religion. As a post-LDS person, it's hard for me not to concentrate on the bad effects the church had on my life. It's hard to not think that if I'd had the courage to leave sooner, to chose to go to a college I really wanted to attend, that I never would have married Ryan. I try not to think of "what could have been scenarios" anymore though. My past, including the crappy parts, are what made me who I am today and helped lead me to Chris. I'd go through my divorce again any number of times to get back to where my heart now lies. But I guess the point I'm dancing around now is that it's hard for me to look at people who are all tied up in organized religion and not think of the negative impacts it's having on their lives.

Chris once posed the question to me that if I could snap my fingers and make all the religion in the world disappear, would I? My gut reaction was yes. The world would be better without religious crazies doing terrible things in the name of God. But as I thought about it a little more, I realized that really, my answer should be no. When I try to take my personal opinions out of it, I can see that religion offers people comfort, and hope. I can see how certain people need that system of beliefs in order to give them the will power to stay away from things that are bad for them. I can see that, I just don't understand it because it's not something I need anymore.

So yes, I want to be a live and let live kind of person. I try not to discuss certain things anymore because I know they are triggers to ill feelings. I think this is going to be a pretty lifelong struggle for me, but I don't want to bare a grudge. My mother is still a part of the LDS religion and I know how important it is to her. My mom truly is one of my best friends and I love her so much. If the church makes her happy, then I don't want to interfere with that. It took some time for her to come to terms with my decision to leave, but she did. I need to give her, and everyone else, that same courtesy. To each his own, right?

Day #2

Topic: "Something you regret not having done last year."

To be honest, I'm kind of drawing a blank on this topic. Last year was the year that I married my soul mate. Chris finally moved here and we got to begin building a real life together. Last year was probably the best of my life! So the only things that come to mind is stuff like "I regret not winning more money in Vegas!" or "I regret not losing weight!"

On the latter topic, I spent some of my day today doing plus-size research. It started when a co-worker told me her cousin wrote a blog about plus-size fashions, so I checked it out. The website linked me to lots of different fashion sites I never knew existed! Yes, all the clothes on these sites are quite more expensive than I normally spend, but they were beautiful! And the women wearing them were beautiful! One of the reasons I want to lose weight is so I can wear more fashionable clothing, but today I started to realize that they actually do make fashionable plus size clothing! I also found an online magazine on that topic. Needless to say, I was feeling all "go big girls!" after that. Sometimes I get in that mindset where I think that I'm happy being a plus size lady, and that I need to embrace the good characteristics that I have, rather than focusing on things that don't fit society's standard. Unfortunately this mood doesn't seem to last for too long. I know certain people who are plus size and proud, and I admire that so much. I am hoping that I can lose weight to the point where I feel more confident about myself, and then just stay where I am comfortable and healthy. I don't want to have to worry about every little thing I eat for the rest of my life. Have you heard the saying "do you eat to live or live to eat?" I definitely live to eat! And I would hate to give that up, just to please others. Chris makes me feel beautiful no matter what size I am, so I really think I'd be happy just getting down to my college weight and settling for that. I wasn't skinny in college (can't really remember EVER being skinny, though I do have photographic proof that I was at one point) but I was at a weight where I could feel confident about myself.

Last thought of the day. My biggest piece of advice that I try to give people now is to ALWAYS follow your instincts! I'm a big believer that you innately know what is best for you. I followed my instincts when I wrote Chris that first email, and that lead to the greatest thing in my entire life. You need to be true to yourself, and I've been striving to do that the past few years. I think that's why I don't have any regrets. If you listen to yourself, you'll choose the right course for you.

30-Day Blog Challenge!

So I've officially decided to do a 30-day blog challenge. I've gotten so bad about posting on here (although I think there are about three people who bother reading it :)) and when I do, I just feel like I'm rambling. I figured if I took this "challenge" it would give me a specific topic to cover each day, as well as a reason to blog on a regular basis.

Topic #1: "Something you're looking forward to this year."

I was looking forward to buying a house with Chris, but as things on that front have to be postponed to next year, we'll look at the other exciting things coming up! I'd have to say what I'm most looking forward to are our upcoming trips. Trip #1 is going to be to New Mexico in June, for my grandfather's 80th birthday. I realized the other week that the last time I was in New Mexico was when I was married to Ryan! Geez! It's been a whole lifetime since then! I'm excited to take Chris down so he can see more of the good ol' U. S. of A. on the drive, as well as being able to meet my extended family who live there. I know he's excited about doing some exploring of Indian ruins near the area. I'm more excited about lounging by my dad's backyard pool with Rikki, while sipping some margaritas! I was able to get a week off of work and really just can't wait for the nice break!

Trip #2 is going to be to...ENGLAND!! For those who don't already know, Chris and I are going to England in September to have a reception/party there on our one year anniversary. His parents were the only ones who were able to come to our wedding, so we've always been planning to do something in England for his family there on our anniversary. We are going to have a big party basically...good food and dancing! You can't beat that. To top it off, his mom (or should I say mum!) is taking care of all of the planning/preparation. As much as I find planning fun, it can get stressful and I get too obsessed with the details, so it's nice to just be able to turn up in September and have things ready to go. I have an awesome mum-in-law! Also along for the ride are going to be my mom, my dad, my stepmom, my grandparents, and hopefully my sister and her boyfriend. It's going to be soooo much fun to show them the joys of England! I'm definitely making them try some of the culinary delights I've discovered there, and this time we WILL be going to a REAL English pub. I've been wanting to do that for ages but it still hasn't happened. My dad and his wife are also thinking of taking a side trip to Paris for a couple of days and Chris and I might get to tag along. We will be there for 2 weeks, which doesn't seem long enough, but I'm still greatly looking forward to it!

And those are my exciting upcoming events...the things I am most looking forward to this year. I will be sure to take pictures and blog about both trips. :)

High School Reunion

So my 10-year high school reunion is coming up at the end of June. I was really going back on forth on whether or not I wanted to attend, but then I asked Chris and he said we should. Apparently high school reunions are a very American thing, so I think he is excited to experience it. Anyway, we have tickets in hand and 2 1/2 months to go...

It's kind of weird to think that it's been 10 years since I graduated. Most of my peers are posting on the school's Facebook page that they "can't believe it!" and that we're "so old!" Frankly I can't believe it's ONLY been 10 years!! I think back to the person I was in high school and it was just so different. I was in a relationship with someone that I was sooooo torn about and was made so dramatic simply because he wasn't Mormon. That just seems weird and stupid to me now...and I feel bad for trying to convert him! Haha! I guess what it mostly comes down to is that I feel like I've aged 10 years since 2009. Through the events of my divorce and separation from the church (officially, by the way...since my mom already knows I can announce I asked for my name to be taken off the church records and that's been done) it just seems like I've grown a lot and changed significantly as a person. I like who I am now much more, and I feel more confident about myself. I'm in a much better place, mentally and emotionally.

The one dark cloud is that I'm also in the worst physical condition of my life. I have 2 1/2 months to slim down, at least a little. Even 20 pounds would make a big difference! So Chris and I are on a diet together...he's my sweet little chef, fixing me wonderful diet meals every night and making sure I follow the rules. :) I'm getting into exercising and I'm hoping that things will start chugging along soon. I have also planned to make the day of the reunion a bit of a pamper day. Mani/pedi, haircut & style, and a professional make-up application. I just want to feel better about my outside for this. I think there's something fundamental about being confronted by the high school environment again that makes you all insecure. It reminds you of how tough high school was and how you felt at that time.

Here's hoping that I can put my best foot forward for it, and show others how much I've improved as the years have passed...like a fine wine. ;) AND that I've landed myself a hunky British husband who moved thousands of miles to be with me. :)

A Bunch of Grapes

A few pictures to start us out...
















I'm a married woman! And now my blog title doesn't make much sense, as I'm officially a Grapes. Oh well! I've been getting lots of mixed reactions to the new last name. A few people at work have checked with me to make sure that's really my new last name and that my co-workers aren't playing a joke on me, yet one of the bosses loves it and always greets me with "Hello Mrs. Grapes".

Anyway, as everyone should know by now (I hope...haven't posted on the blog in forever though) Chris and I got married in Las Vegas on Sept 24th. We made the decision to get married there as we thought it would be fun, and more stress-free...plus it would give his parents the chance to see Vegas while they were here!

After what seemed like forever, Chris arrived in Boise at the end of August. His parents followed a few weeks after and were able to stay with us for about a month. While they were here, they went to San Fransisco, and we all took a trip to Yellowstone together before flying to Vegas.

Vegas was pretty good...for the first few days anyway! We were able to have both sets of parents there, as well as my sister, niece, grandparents, and Chris' good friend Richie. It was a nice, intimate ceremony and the chapel we used was wonderful! It was the Chapel of the Flowers, and every aspect of our time there was great. We loved how the pictures turned out. We also loved that they broadcast the wedding live, so our friends not attending in person could attend virtually. The wedding was also available to watch for two weeks after, which was a good perk. We had a WONDERFUL little dinner/reception afterward at Joe's Stone Crab in Caesar's Palace. Nice toasts, good company, delicious food, and great service! Really the day was just perfect! After the wedding was over and most of our family had left, Vegas got a bit old. It's such an expensive place! And right before we left for it, we found out my car needed a new transmission that wouldn't be covered under warranty, so we didn't have as much extra money to spend as we'd hoped we would. Regardless, it was a fun experience and I'm glad we had the wedding there.

Life since then has settled into a nice pattern. Chris has been taking care of the apartment, and our cats, and making me delicious meals everyday. He's the best husband I could ask for. :) I recently got a new position at CWI too. It's still in the Registrar's office but it's a job that will allow me to use my English degree (for editing the school catalog) and it's salaried, which has many benefits (the best of which was a large raise!) This is going to help a lot as Chris still has at least a couple more months of unemployment ahead. We've decided that starting in January, he's going to take some classes from CWI because I get a great discount on tuition and he doesn't have a degree yet. I think this will be a great thing for him and am excited about it! We are hoping he can go to school full-time and work part-time. Hopefully he can finish his associate's degree in about 16 months, if he goes every semester. And this month he is working on a novel for the National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo for short). What he has so far is great...I'm consistently blown away by the level of talent he has! If you'd like to follow his story, he set up a blog for it at: www.chrisgrapes.co.uk/nano


So all-in-all, life is wonderful! I love my husband. I love my job. I love my life! Sorry it's been so long since I updated. I will try to do better in the future. And you'll just have to forgive the outdated blog title for now. :)