Day #2

Topic: "Something you regret not having done last year."

To be honest, I'm kind of drawing a blank on this topic. Last year was the year that I married my soul mate. Chris finally moved here and we got to begin building a real life together. Last year was probably the best of my life! So the only things that come to mind is stuff like "I regret not winning more money in Vegas!" or "I regret not losing weight!"

On the latter topic, I spent some of my day today doing plus-size research. It started when a co-worker told me her cousin wrote a blog about plus-size fashions, so I checked it out. The website linked me to lots of different fashion sites I never knew existed! Yes, all the clothes on these sites are quite more expensive than I normally spend, but they were beautiful! And the women wearing them were beautiful! One of the reasons I want to lose weight is so I can wear more fashionable clothing, but today I started to realize that they actually do make fashionable plus size clothing! I also found an online magazine on that topic. Needless to say, I was feeling all "go big girls!" after that. Sometimes I get in that mindset where I think that I'm happy being a plus size lady, and that I need to embrace the good characteristics that I have, rather than focusing on things that don't fit society's standard. Unfortunately this mood doesn't seem to last for too long. I know certain people who are plus size and proud, and I admire that so much. I am hoping that I can lose weight to the point where I feel more confident about myself, and then just stay where I am comfortable and healthy. I don't want to have to worry about every little thing I eat for the rest of my life. Have you heard the saying "do you eat to live or live to eat?" I definitely live to eat! And I would hate to give that up, just to please others. Chris makes me feel beautiful no matter what size I am, so I really think I'd be happy just getting down to my college weight and settling for that. I wasn't skinny in college (can't really remember EVER being skinny, though I do have photographic proof that I was at one point) but I was at a weight where I could feel confident about myself.

Last thought of the day. My biggest piece of advice that I try to give people now is to ALWAYS follow your instincts! I'm a big believer that you innately know what is best for you. I followed my instincts when I wrote Chris that first email, and that lead to the greatest thing in my entire life. You need to be true to yourself, and I've been striving to do that the past few years. I think that's why I don't have any regrets. If you listen to yourself, you'll choose the right course for you.