The Letter

So here's the situation. Ryan and I divided up our credit card debt. He was going to transfer his share over to his own cards, but then he got turned down when he applied, so he was just going to send me the monthly payments for awhile until he could get one. Then he changed his mind and told me he would give me a check for the full amount because he boss was going to loan him the money. So yesterday he sent me a text saying he would give me the check but would want some kind of proof his share of the credit card debt had been paid, like a balance statement. I didn't want to tell him this, but I had decided that for the time being I was going to put that money into my savings account and just use it to pay the monthly balance for about two months while I took some time off and wrote. When he said that, I had to admit to him that I wasn't planning to put it towards the credit card debt right away. I told him I would sign something saying he'd given me the money. He said he would type it up...I figured it would be something like, "I, Samantha Goodrich, recieved $XXX from Ryan Goodrich on November 4, 2009 to cover his share of the credit card debt incurred in the course of our marriage." Instead, this is what he left me:

"On November 4 of 2009, I (Samantha E. Goodrich) received the total sum of $XXX from Ryan B. Goodrich. As this fulfills his fair and equitable portion of our marriage's credit card debt, which we both agreed upon, no additional recompense is required. My signature below indicates that I hold him under no further monetary obligations.

In signing this, I agree to the stipulation that I will not require or request additional monetary support (for bills, loans, alimony, etc.) or gift money from Ryan before or after the divorce is finalized as the money I have recieved from him will be kept in my savings account to ensure my own financial security until I find further work. Any gift or financial support money I recieve from Ryan will be of his own choice and conscience."

There are really no words for how hurtful this was. He makes me out to sound like some kind of gold digger, when really I was going to put the money in savings so that I wouldn't have to ask him for help financially later. He told me just a week before announcing his desire for a divorce that if he hadn't of married me, he probably wouldn't have made anything of himself in college and wouldn't have the good job he has now. Based on that comment alone, I should be entitled to some alimony since he is making a good salary and I won't have a job in Boise, but I wasn't planning to seek any kind of alimony. He just acts like he wants to erase all connections and obligations he ever felt towards me.

I can feel myself unraveling here...like I might just break at any moment. Two more days and I will be on my way to Idaho. Once I get there, I can just lay in bed for a few days and wallow but until then I have to keep up my strong front which is getting more and more difficult everyday.